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July 19, 2013

Since yesterday (out of) VA was rather mundane, let me tell you a story about how amazing I am.

I’ve come to be amazing over the course of my marriage; necessity being the mother of invention and all. Some things I can get Jeff to be flexible about and some things… eh, not so much. So when Jeff called to tell me he needed a hard copy of a fishing license, I knew it was Game Time.

Never mind that’s he’s active duty on leave (most states waive the need for a separate license) and never mind that he’s going to a private lake on someone’s personally owned property… Nope. Gotta have that $7 piece of paper.

Well, he took the initiative and went online to order the one day license, only to find out that the printer wasn’t working. He calls me while I am out getting a MUCH needed pedi (I’ll spare you the before/after pictures, just in case you’re reading this over lunch), to apprise me of the situation.
Jeff: Hey, I can’t print this off and I need it in the morning.
Me: No worries, honey, I’ll swing by Staples on my way home and print a copy. Just email it to me.
Jeff: Awesome! Thanks, babe. You’re the best, most beautiful wife on Earth. I am so lucky to have such a fabulous wife. Also, you have pretty feet.
(Or something like that.)
Problem solved.
20130718-224752.jpg However, when we got to Staples, they were closed. 20130719-092937.jpg
Turns out, there must not be much demand for business services on Saturday evenings in Smalltown, USA. They closed at 8. BUT, across the street are the glowing beams of a CVS Pharmacy.20130719-095238.jpg
The time is now 8:47. We can do this.
I have a plan; I can’t print an email, but I can print a picture. Amazing.
I should point out that I am deserving of a Nobel Prize nomination (not a win, just a nod), for thinking outside the box and creatively solving the problem.
Knowing that I have under 13 minutes to complete the process, I waste no time and head straight to the photo counter.20130719-122337.jpg
Step 1: locate Kodak Kiosk.

Step 2: go through 37 prompts, only to realize the process requires an app.

Step 3: search phone for Kodak Kiosk App.

Step 4: wait, as the minutes tick by, for painfully slow in-store wifi to install Kodak Kiosk App.

Step 5: find email from Jeff with fishing license attachment.

Step 6: open email, download fishing license .pdf and take a screen shot, so image of license is saved in the camera roll.

Step 7: open Kodak Kiosk App and connect iPhone app to in-store kiosk.


Step 8: enter store wifi password:

Step 9: realize, after three attempts, that this is the actual wifi name, not the password. Go back to start and enter password: rrrrrrrgttr3.

Step 10: giggle about funny Pirate Password.

Step 11: Success Screen prompts upload of image from camera to app and from app to kiosk.

Step 12: finally see image of fishing license in Kodak Kiosk Screen. Scroll through 37 pages of editing options, auto enhancers and red-eye reducers for the fishing license.

Step 13: click submit.
Agree to terms.
Yes to proceed.
Yes, I’m sure.
I’m positive.
No, really, I mean it.

Step 14: confirm with sales clerk that the intention was, in fact, to print immediately.

Step 15: scrounge bottom of purse for 29 cents to pay for single, glossy, 4×6 image of screenshot of .pdf of State of Missouri Fishing License.

Step 16: emerge from CVS, victoriously, at 8:59 pm. Mission Accomplished.

After-action brief covers highlights of complicated, multi-step printing process. Emphasis on how many steps there were and how funny pirate jokes arrrrrrre. Concludes with presentation of shiny picture and confirmation that this is more than just a picture, it’s a ticket to YouOweMeOne-Ville.


From → July 2013

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