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August 21, 2013

I cannot focus on ANYTHING.
Imagine a picture of the Milky Way up in Outer Space. (Is Outer Space a proper noun, or should it just be outer space?) (See, I told you I can’t focus.) Anyway, think of all the tiny dots of stars & planets and how there are so many of them that they look like a foggy swirl. There are some random, larger, far away stars that can be seen individually and lots of space dust. That’s what my brain looks like.


My to-do list is getting quite long and my arms are quite tired from the juggling. I try to prioritize. It’s not that I procrastinate in all aspects of life, but sometimes the last minute is the only available minute I have to accomplish a task. Often, I do not even have that minute, but it becomes necessary to take time from something else in order to keep the plates spinning.

I’ve been concerned about getting another blog in, about getting some marketing material together for work, about doing something fun with the kids in the last few days of summer break, about overcoming my anesthesia anxiety & getting Allie to the dentist, about signing up for fall sports, about balancing the checkbook, about mulching the pumpkins, about getting the trainer back out to work with me & the horse, about getting caught up on laundry & putting away all the stuff that was not a priority when we moved in, about fixing the piano, about finishing the bathroom project I started 2 months ago so I can get the toilet out of my bedroom… It just keeps going into infinity. Into a swirl of space dust.
Now, with that said, I realize that I am fortunate to have the problems I have; it could be so much worse. Unfortunately, everything is relative and I’m afraid I might have finally gone crazy. Like for real. Like logical internal conversations crazy.
The other day, I was at a stop light at the Rte 17/Rte 1 interchange.

I was the second car in line behind someone who was clearly a Falmouth Bridge Intersection Virgin. I’m waiting through the fourth light, which would not have been necessary, had the driver in front of me done some actual driving. It is almost our turn.
Me: This guy had best be paying attention. I don’t need to be running any later than I already am.
Me: Umm, hello? Road Rage much?
Me: This is ridiculous! Some of us have places to go and this guy is a danger to himself and those around him. I swear, if he doesn’t use that long, skinny pedal when the light turns green, I’m going to…
Me: What. What exactly do you think you’re going to do, Laura?
Me: I’m serious.
Me: Ok then, when the light turns green, just get out of your car and walk up there and explain to this moron exactly what you think of his driving. That’ll be very helpful. Oh, wait, even at 22MPH, he’ll be very GONE by the time you get your seatbelt off. Who’s the real moron here?
Me: I really don’t need the sarcasm, I’ve got a lot on my mind. Whatever, I’ll let him live. We’re turning onto a four lane anyway. *sigh* This is so frustrating.
Me: Did you just have an entire conversation all by yourself?
Me: Yup
Me: Oh, this cannot be good.


It happened again this morning when I was trying to talk myself into looking at Pinterest for just 5 more minutes…
Me: Aww crap, it’s 7:03, I’m late for work. (Self imposed working schedule.)
Me: But it’s so peaceful on the deck and fresh air is good for you!
Me: You know the rules, no Pinterest after 7. You’ll get sucked in, you won’t get anything done and you’ll end up with a headache.
Me: Last time I checked, I’m a grown up and I can look at sarcastic eCards if I want to.
Me: Great, when you’re stressed out later because you got less than nothing done today, I don’t want to hear about it.
Me: This is America…
Me: Shut up.
Me: That’s not a very nice way to talk to yourself.
Me: You’re making excuses. Just turn off the phone and get going.
Me: *pouty face* Fine.
** go to computer, screen freezes, have to restart**
Me: Darn the luck! I guess while I’m waiting for the reboot, I’ll just see what’s happening on Twitter…
Me: *Rolls eyes*

I have to take pictures of three different houses on the other side of the county and be at an appointment on the opposite side in 97 minutes.
My space dust decided to stop & write a blog.
Concentration… I wonder if there’s an app for that?


From → August 2013

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